3 Building Blocks for Real Community:
November 12, 2006
Again - a rough draft, although not as rough as previous ones. Do you have a story in your own life where these things helped you? Can you think of a poem or a song that is on this topic that you'd like to share? Drop a comment at the end.
Intro:
The bible says that we were made for relationships. It’s not good for man (mankind) to be alone.
God has developed a place for you to meet your relational needs – the church.
Central to Christianity is ‘belonging’. Once we become a believer we become a belonger.
If you’ll put into practice these 10 building blocks to community then you’ll find a more fulfilled life, more meaning.
1. Frequency.
Hebrews 10:25 “Let us not give up the habit of meeting together. Instead, let us encourage one another.”
(circle ‘habit’) – habits – something we do frequently.
Real community only happens if we meet together often… over and over.
Maybe it seems obvious, but you can’t build real, meaningful relationships without spending TIME with people.
“They worshipped together regularly at the temple each day, (daily) met in small groups in homes for communion, and shared their meals with great joy.
Circle “shared their meals”… didn’t just meet on Sundays (gathered) and they didn’t just do communion (a spiritual discipline) – they ATE FOOD together with great joy! Too often we think it’s more spiritual to go to church than it is to hang out around fun people and good food. The bible doesn’t make the distinction as one being more spiritual than another… in fact it lumps the 2 in the same positive light!
The Bible says, “Enjoy the companionship of those who love the Lord.” – 2 tim. 2:22
Ask a personal question “What’s keeping me from meeting more consistently?”
Convenience says “I go when I have time for it”.
Conviction Says “I go because I MAKE the time for it”
Pointer: if you don’t control what’s on your calendar, your calendar will control you. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Why should we make time for gathering together frequently? Because it’s one of the reasons God has put us on earth! You can study the bible all you want, but if you don’t get the need for deep fellowship, you can’t achieve what God has designed you for on this earth!
Rate your frequency: (Weak) 1-2-3-4-5 (Strong)
How can you increase your frequency? What changes need to be made in your heart or your schedule? If frequency is strong for you, then how can you encourage or practically help another person in this area?
2. AUTHENTICITY
I summarize authenticity as “loosing the need to pretend”
In the real world, I think few people are comfortable enough with them selves not to pretend. The fear of rejection or disapproval is strong, even in 'spiritual' leaders.
I think there is a message that God has for us; it goes something like this
Get rid of hypocrisy, stop hiding behind masks. Lose the religious pretense; it's destructive to authentic faith. I want honest, authentic people.
Authenticity: Loosing the need to pretend.
As a human being, I don't want to be a place where you put on your churchy-face and pretend. I want to allow you to be a work in progress. I want you to do the same for me.
When we pretend, we're stuck. We absolutely cannot become better people until we admit the areas that need work. We can't find our security in God if we never feel insecure. We can't overcome our anger problems if we continue to act like we're fine.
You can't fix that relationship with your boyfriend if you never tell him the things that make you uncomfortable. You can't find eternity in Heaven until you admit your inability to get there on your own. You can't until you admit, come clean, and be honest.
Good relationships require honesty, including the relationship you have with yourself.
Part of orienting our ENTIRE lives around the ways of Jesus – we must learn to be authentic. Or simply put, we are continually guilty of lying and dishonesty.
Rate your authenticity: (Weak) 1-2-3-4-5 (Strong)
Can you create a plan to become more authentic? One more authentic act this week than last? If you’re strong in this area, then how can you teach others to be authentic? Make a plan.
Community is built on MUTUALITY/ACCOUNTABILITY
We are better together. Together we are stronger. Participate the “togetherness” of Axis.
ILLUSTRATION: Read the story of Josh from “no perfect people” pgs 106 – 109
Mutuality is 3 things:
1. Mutual accountability‘Let us consider how we can spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” – heb. 10:14
“Keep each other on your toes so sin doesn't slow down your reflexes.” Heb. 3:13 (Mes)
2. Mutual encouragement“Encourage anyone who feels left out, help all who are weak, and be patient with everyone.” 1 Th. 5:14b (CEV)
Growing up (well, healthy) without encouragement is nearly impossible
3. Mutual honoring“Take delight in honoring each other. – rom. 12:10
No amount of darkness can erase God’s divine imprint on humanity. When we take to celebrate/honor the ‘God’ things in others, that’s worshiping God. Any time we say “YES! That’s from God”, then we are honoring God and that person.
UNPACK MUTUAL ACCOUNTABILITY
Destructive way of accountability partner (an old model)
• Ask each other if they are living up to the ‘standard’
• Offer forgiveness if they screw up (‘fall short’)
• Encourage to try harder.
Why the above is destructive:
This is a picture of ‘The Law’ – this style exposes a problem, but doesn’t offer solution.
New model emphasizes GRACE and TRUTH.
It points out that we can never become what God wants by just trying harder – NEVER!!!! Our model must always point to complete dependence on God for change.
INTRODUCE RUNNING PARTNERS (ACCOUNTABILITY)
Rules for running together:
1. Accept and encourage as often as possible
2. Ask a lot of questions. Only give advice with permission
3. Correct people only when absolutely necessary (prov. 27:5-6)
• Nothing kills accountabily relationships than mr. or mrs. Fix it. – the person that always has an answer to everyone’s issues.
• At axis we will stop trying to fix people and ask God to fix people
4. Never condemn, always protect. (Romans 2:1)
• Confidentiality is mandatory.
Personal: “Where can I use the most support in my spiritual growth?”, “Who around me could use support in their spiritual journey?”
Rate your accountability: (Weak) 1-2-3-4-5 (Strong)
Do you have a running partner? Would you consider finding one? What action do you need to take to find one? If you are strong in this area, then can you invite someone to be your running partner even if you already have one?
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